Nine days have passed.  They have passed quickly, but then again, they passed too slow.  I have mixed feelings about my past week and two days, so I guess I'll just start from the beginning.

Life stresses me out sometimes.  It really is a wonderful thing, but I also think that to die would be a great adventure as well.  I am growing weary of all of the 'normal' people in the world.  They have so much anger and malice towards those of us who are different in how we look, or think, or act, or feel.  I know that their beliefs and opinions will eventually stunt their ability to grow and function as individuals, and they will probably get stuck in some social or employment situation that they cannot escape from and do not revel in.  However, right now, in the present world, the 'normal' people have all the luck. 

I sometimes want to be 'normal,' but then I think of how sad and unhappy my life would be.  I would just be some empty shell filled with the idea that external verification is all that matters.  I would be depressed ALL of the time, instead of SOME of the time.  I get down about my life every once in a while, but I don't dwell on it.  I'm not some "used to be the captain of the football team that never moved out of town and always wants to babysit your kids for money (and other things)" kind of person.  I left my hometown.  I made my way through the world.  I made myself who I am today.  I had help of course, and I had some really incredible influences along the way, but I am my own person.  When I walk out of the house, I don't expect anyone to notice me.  I expect to just walk along and be myself.  I don't expect someone to respect me 'cause I wear Prada shoes, or a Gucci hat.  Designer clothes are not all that they're cracked up to be.  It is only an image, only the way you appear.  If I want attention, I'll dress in drag and do the hoola.  I'm not going to parade around in a pair of $300 shoes and expect people to respect my 'status.'

Of course, I'm not going to judge other people who feel that such things are important.  Even if they have the nerve to tell me that I'm delusional and that I live in my own little world, bereft of any form of reality, I'll still not judge them.  Because I know the truth.  I know that it is truly them whom are suffering from a delusional state of mind.  They stress and worry SO much about their image, that they have little time for other things, for the true pleasures in life.  God is the force that rules my life, not other people's opinions.  And I feel so sorry for people that are like that.  I hope that one day, they too will find God. 

Also, I've decided to try to help everybody that I meet.  I have come into contact with so many sad people.  None of them seem to have any hope at all, and many are completely without love.  I loath the fact that so many people grew up with nobody to love in their lives.  My family has ALWAYS been there to love me and keep me safe and warm.  But I was a very blessed child.  I picked a good mommy and daddy to be born to.  Many were not as lucky when they chose their parents.  It is in these people that hope is lost.  God is love, and without ever knowing love, they could never know God.

Also, I've stumbled on something very disturbing.  Many of the people around my age have begun going to bars.  This isn't so disturbing to people of other upbringings, but to me, it is scary.  They go to these bars looking for someone to love, and all that they recieve is empty, meaningless sex.  Most of the time it is with older people too.  Now, I'm not going to tell people how to live their lives, but I will say this to the older people of the world.  I know that it seems to be a gift from heaven to have these young guys and girls, barely legal, who are looking for a hook up.  But think about more than your hormones for a second.  Ask yourself a question before you even think about having sex with someone my age.  Ask yourself, "Why are they at a bar, instead of having fun with friends and family?"  And when you get approached by someone my age, ask that young adult the same question.  Their answers might shock you.

The answers of "I don't have that many friends." and "My family isn't exactly a group of people you'd want to be around." are the most common.  They are looking for someone to love them, to care about them, and to keep them safe and warm.  They think that sex will bring this, but it doesn't.  The feelings are merely temporary, and do not fill the void.  Only Love can truly fill that void, and what they really need is a friend, a brother, a sister, a father, or a mother.  Someone to help them along in life, because their actual friends and family have abandoned them.

I will try my truest to be such a friend to people who have lost their way.  And I urge anyone out there who reads this to do the same.